Article written by flamboyant psychologist - Adejoro Olumofin aka "Doktor" Mofin
Let's talk Volume 1. (Should married women cut off their single friends?). Psychometrics has shown that some married women cut off their single friends. This has ended long term friendships, even with siblings, caused envy, strained childhood relationships and created bitter rivalries.
Should married women have only married friends? Some married women who have cut their friends off claim that :
(1) Their focus has changed and they no longer have similar interests or anything in common with their single friends
(2) They don't want to get tempted back into single ladies behavioural pattern or lifestyle such that they develop a level of respect for being married
(3) They don't want their single friends close to their husbands because of temptation on both sides as well as keeping boundaries of respect for their spouse..
(4) The believe that single ladies are jealous of them and could therefore be a threat to their marriage in one way or another
(5) Disapproval of certain friends from the spouse
(6) Some friends have always opposed and still oppose their marriage and are always looking to pick a fault in either the spouse or the marriage
(7) The feeling of superiority over single friends from the idea that there is somewhat a level attained above them
(8)Protection from talking to friends about their marriages and giving them the gun to use against them
(2) They don't want to get tempted back into single ladies behavioural pattern or lifestyle such that they develop a level of respect for being married
(3) They don't want their single friends close to their husbands because of temptation on both sides as well as keeping boundaries of respect for their spouse..
(4) The believe that single ladies are jealous of them and could therefore be a threat to their marriage in one way or another
(5) Disapproval of certain friends from the spouse
(6) Some friends have always opposed and still oppose their marriage and are always looking to pick a fault in either the spouse or the marriage
(7) The feeling of superiority over single friends from the idea that there is somewhat a level attained above them
(8)Protection from talking to friends about their marriages and giving them the gun to use against them
Are these reasons valid and true?
This does not apply to all married women obviously but this is a very popular phenomenon in Nigeria..
There is no fixed solution or stand on this because what works for Mrs "A" may not work for Mrs "B", this is relative to individuals. Everyone knows what works for them, the type of friends they have and the type of husbands they have. Some friends may have Ill motives and some friends may not, some husbands may chase your friends some husbands may not.
Let's make sure what ever decision we make is based on best interest for the marriage to work and for all parties but always beneficial to us.
Also make sure to put facts into consideration . I.e the history you have with some friends and your husbands personality. If you have any friend that has a history of snatching your boyfriends then you clearly don't want her near your husband. Same If you have friends who are always in competition with you or backbiting you etc
Don't cut your friends off because people are doing it. Rather establish there a balance between all relationships including family, friendship and marriage.
Read more articles on Adejoro Olumofins instagram page : @joroolumofin
Also contact him on : olumofinj@yahoo.com
Also contact him on : olumofinj@yahoo.com
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