Adams Oshiomhole is married. That can never change. He is married to Iara
Fortes, a Cape Verdean who has his last name. That cannot be changed by
external forces.
Nigerians are a funny bunch. Over
the weekend, for the sole educational purpose of this article, I took to the
streets to ask random people on the street if a widower deserves love and the
answer was spontaneous.
“Yes”. He deserves to love again and
have company...” or something along those
lines.
I changed the variables of the
question and asked again. If a rich widower should marry, and the answer still
remains positive, although with hesitation. Emphasis on the term ‘rich’.
“Errr….he should sha marry again”. The term ‘rich’ can only rhyme with ‘sha’. I am learning!
I took another roll of the dice,
this time, tweaking the variables of the matter. “What if the rich widower
marries a young fine who is way younger than he is”. Negativity set in.
“No. The girl is only interested in
his money. Why will a fine girl marry an old man if not for money?”.
Then I finally threw all my cards
in. “What if than man is a Governor, and the lady is a fine model from Cape
Verde?”
“He is a criminal, and she is a gold
digger”. End of story.
That’s the response I got from the
street. A Governor who marries a young, sexy, foreigner is a criminal who wants
to spend public funds on a new gold digger.
There was no considering the basic
human elements of the case. Which are pretty glaring to everyone; A widower who
has stayed five years without the comfort of a wife has decided to try his hand
at matrimony again. He meets a woman, woos her, gains her heart and her trust,
and she decides to walk aisle with him.
That’s a good story. It is the stuff of
romance novels, and the pride of Telemundo. It has love, patience, sacrifice,
loyalty, risk, reward, and compassion. It’s a classic.
But sadly, that’s the story
Nigerians are missing. We have decided to skip through the surface and dig
deeper to create our stories or versions of what we believe. These stories come
from our insecurities, bitterness, cynicism, fear, envy, and basic distrust of
public officials. Where there’s a young woman in love, we see a gold-digger.
Where a rejuvenated widower stands, we only see a criminal who has stolen
public funds to fund his romance. Where there’s meant to be love, we see a
financial arrangement. And where there is commitment, we see deceit.
Many will ask why he got to remarry
a foreigner. That question in itself is an indictment of our belief in
universal love. Strip away the couples’ nationality, tribe, race, education,
philosophy, and our prejudice and the basics remain simple. Adams Oshiomhole is
a man. Iara is a woman. Mena and woman fall in love all the time. Ask Obama’s
ancestors.
We have tried this man in our
hearts, with all of our insecurities, bitterness, cynicism, fear, envy, serving
as the jury and damning witnesses.
We have tried him, and reached a
guilty verdict. Passing judgement on a man who lost his wife to cancer, and
waited half a decade to fill up her position. How about the lady? Do we
consider what bond of companionship holds them together? How about the personal
qualities she has seen in the man that has made him worthy of her binding
commitment?
Call me naïve, brand me an
apologists for self-serving politicians, but I don’t think Adams Oshiomhole is
guilty of all the filth projecting from Nigerians and stimulated by his
marriage.
The only crime Adams Oshiomhole is
guilty of, is love. And it is a crime many of us happily commit.
